Complete

Without going into too much detail, life has been tough lately.  The newness of life here is wearing off...the 'meet the neighbors' excitement has subsided, school is in full swing, and the Fall programs at church are underway.

And I have been feeling pretty lonely.

It's difficult to make such a drastic change after 15 years, and I knew it would be.  I just didn't know what to expect, and I didn't expect to struggle so soon.  Not having a place to 'fit' is pretty challenging, especially after knowing right where I belonged back home.

Anyways, I don't write to depress anyone - I actually am here to offer encouragement in the wee hours of the morning as I have discovered some hope of my own.

I'm currently going through an online Bible study of Colossians, one where you read a couple of verses each day, break it down, and then journal and pray about what you've learned.  I am one who always appreciates 'routine,' so it was easy for me to get in the groove, especially knowing that others were doing the same thing.  However, sometimes my routine becomes pretty mindless and I find myself 'going through the motions' of things that should be much more substantial parts of my life.  In my loneliness, I have allowed many things to become routine these past few weeks.

To my surprise, though, the word 'empty' jumped off the page in my reading yesterday (Tuesday).  The context wasn't anything overly powerful to me, but that word 'EMPTY' just stood out like a sore thumb.

I wrote two things in my journal and left it at that:

1)  Empty = leaning on my own strength, my own knowledge, my own understanding.  Without Christ, my attempts to grow will be empty.

2)  I need to be engrossed in the Word and prayer, to be immersed in Christ and not be left empty and available to be led astray.

Today (Wednesday - it's REALLY late!), still feeling down, I fought away my quiet time.  Preferring to wallow in my loneliness, I chose instead to fill my day with other 'mindless' activities to pass the time.  However, a late-night Facebook chat with a friend who needed encouragement found me reminding myself of what is truly important in the midst of challenging circumstances, and I got back out of bed to do the Bible reading for the day.  And God blew me away.

The passage read, "For in Christ the fullness of God lives in a human body, and you are complete through your union with Christ."  Colossians 2:9

WOW.  From 'EMPTY' to 'COMPLETE.'  It still moves me to tears, and I've already journaled all of these thoughts...twice!

Though I am feeling utterly empty here, away from all that I know and love, separate from everything that is safe and comfortable, God says I am complete.

In fact, the commentary in my Bible even states that "No Christian needs anything in addition to what Christ has provided..."

See, if Christ lives in me, then also does the "fullness of God" - I have everything that I need because the One who holds everything in His hands lives in me.  In me.

I'm not empty.  I'm not alone.  I can choose to push away the One who makes me complete, and I can feel desperately lonely when my emotions get the best of me, but my feelings are not truth.  And the truth is that with Christ in me, I am complete.