Reflection and Redirection

Wow.  I can't believe it's been a year and a half since my last post.  My, how time flies!  SO much has happened in this most recent season of life; to say it was FULL would be an understatement, so I won't even begin to record it all.  THAT would be a post in and of itself!

This heart has been stirring over the past few months, sensing a need to return to writing and recording some of the many thoughts that keep the brain spinning day after day.  The processing 'out loud' of the mind's mess is therapeutic for me, and I guess we all need a little therapy sometimes!  Not only that, but looking back over previous posts truly raises my awareness as I recall all that God has been working in me and revealing to me.  It reminds again of His faithfulness.

Thinking back, I remember asking God a year ago to give me a word for 2014; one word to focus on that would encompass all that He saw for me, all that He wanted me to know, learn, and develop throughout the year.  The word that came to mind was 'today.'
A friend confirmed that word soon after when she randomly shared Psalms 118:24, which says, "This is the day the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it."

To me, the emphasis was on the very first word: THIS.  THIS is the day the Lord has made.  THIS is the moment He has given you to live in.  THIS is the only time you are guaranteed.  THIS is the day to live to the fullest and love like you mean it.  The message for these ears, this heart, was very clear, and I came back to it often during the last 12 months.  I saw how God desired for me to slow down enough to be present in each day, each moment He had given, how He longed for me to see all that He had blessed me with and to treasure it without regret.

Reflecting on 2014, I see how very powerful that word, TODAY, really was.  I had no idea what our family would walk through last year, not a clue how very numbered our days with our loved ones truly are.  And I learned, I grew, I made mistakes, I have regrets, but I NOTICED.  I noticed things I hadn't noticed before, I saw glimpses in my husband, my children, my family, my friends that I had been too self-focused to see at other times in my life.  While my 'free time' has definitely been less, my awareness has grown in leaps and bounds.

My thoughts over the past few weeks have awakened a new realization that now connects me from last year to today.  God is taking all that He allowed me to see last year and redirecting it with fresh vision as 2015 unfolds.  Much like last year, I began this one asking God for a word, a new focal point for the moments of the year ahead when I knew I would be overwhelmed and in desperate need of a landing pad of reminder for the bigger picture, the greater purpose.  And this time I heard 'share.'

To be honest, this is a word I wrestled with at first.  'Share' just sounded to me like one more item for my far-too-long 'to-do' list, and that was definitely NOT appealing in any way.  However, I tucked it away and tried to process whether this was indeed my direction for the new year, or if I just needed my hearing checked...

Several weeks and many 'deep thoughts' later, I can say with confidence that I heard correctly.  In various ways, God has shown me that 'Share' has far more to do with my heart than my mouth.  He is using the 'today's of 2014 to allow me to see the incredible value in sharing LIFE with others, because the life we were able to share with my father-in-law since moving to South Dakota, though not overflowing with amazing words of wisdom, was a life that had an eternal impact.  Had my father-in-law not seen us living our life chasing God, He may have never made His own decision to choose God before leaving this earth.  We'll never know for sure, but I CAN say with confidence that relationship with my husband's father and our children's grandfather was a huge part of God's purpose for bringing us here in 2012.  And for that, I am forever grateful.

'Share'...it's not so much about talking as about listening.  Not so much about DOing as about BEing.  Not about ACTing, but about ASKing.  With 4 children, a husband working 60+ hour weeks, a job of my own, a calling to ministry, and a never-ending supply of responsibilities, this is definitely not a season overflowing with free time.  However, it is ALWAYS a season of opportunity, and God gives all of us the opportunity to share this life we've been given.  I pray that as God helps me to focus on the moments He gives me in 'today,' He will help me step out and 'share' those moments with others so that all of our lives can be better for it.