Marinating

No, this post isn't about the delicious chicken kabobs my wonderful hubby cooked on the grill yesterday...though they were definitely note-worthy...

...instead, just a few excerpts from a wonderful book, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp; words that are rolling around in the brain - things that are marinating on the mind in hopes that they will bring strength and growth to this hungry heart tonight.

The Father's call beckons the author, straight from the scripture, saying,

"What do you want?"

And like the blind beggar about which the scripture is written, her soul cries,

"Lord, I want to see" (Luke 18:41)

More of His glory, more of who He is - she longs for greater freedom from the mundane, the everyday that distracts our focus, blurs our vision, clouds our view. There is hope - in the author and in myself - to no longer forget how, when, where to focus the attention of our lives so that we may truly live.

"...I want to remember how badly I really want to see."

How true it is that in the day-to-day survival, we often forget to seek that which is most valuable; that which brings life, hope, joy. Instead, we limp, one day at a time, through a race we were meant to run all-out, meant to persevere and thus experience the exhilaration of a life fully lived - a joy fully known.

She, as do I, desires a connection with the Father that opens the eyes to witness the often-missed beauty of His love in action.

"All beauty is only reflection...any created thing of which I am amazed, it is the glimpse of His face..."

Yet she writes with such stinging truth, such humble honesty,

"Do I have eyes to see it's Him...Do I have eyes to see His face in all things so I'm not merely dazzled by the trinket, glitzy bauble dangling for the ogling, till it flakes and breaks and I strain for more...?"

The words run deep. The heart stills. She continues,

"I know how monstrously inhumane I can be. Raging at children for minor wrongdoings while I'm the one defiling the moment with sinful anger. Hoarding possessions while others die of starvation. Entertaining the mind with trivial pretties when I haven't bowed the head and heart in prayer longer than five minutes a week. My tongue has had a razor edge and my eyes have rolled haughty and my neck has been stiff and graceless and I have lived the filth ugly, an idolater, a glutton, and a grace thief who hasn't had time for the thanks."

Ouch. And I thought it was just me.

"I am filthy rags. Is sight possible?"

In our humility, in the reality of our frailties, failures, fears, and frustrations; the answer comes:

"The only way to see God manifested in the world around is with the eyes of Jesus within...To sit in the theater of God and see His glory...to open the eyes of my heart to see the fountain of His grace - thousands of gifts - I have to split heart open to more and more of Jesus."

Jesus said it Himself, so we can believe it to be true - I can believe it to be true.

"I am the way and the truth and the life." John 14:6

If I long for growth, for a change of heart, for the ability to see that which is really worth seeing, there is only One way.

Gratitude abounds.

401. Whispers of confirmation that the right choice was made in sending our youngest to kindergarten this year.

402. "What was your favorite thing about kindergarten today?"

"Everything!!"

403. Watching as new skills are learned, as new abilities unfold.

404. Gentle reminders to pray for my children.

405. Encouragement, inspiration, and God-given partnerships.

406. Weather that hints of Fall.

407. Backyard baseball.

408. Sunshine and giggles.

409. Long walks with great company.

410. Eyes that shine with excitement.