Hard Lessons

Exhaustion has been the name of the game these past couple of weeks - too many out-of-the-ordinary, once-a-year, end-of-a-season activities, and there is still one more week left to survive. Survive? Is that really the word just added to this post? Previous posts have mentioned the desire to live fully, to thrive, to make the most of every moment. Yet now there is simply hope to survive, to make it through this time of overwhelming obligation.

Please don't misunderstand - there is joy in taking part in the ceremonies, concerts, performances, and programs that come in this season of Spring - there is excitement and pride in celebration of achievements and accomplishments, in the display of talent and knowledge.

There is also exhaustion in the fullness of the calendar. There is a subtle cringe in the viewing of the schedule, with multiple commitments scrawled on almost every date this month. Everything in me screams for something better - a way to turn the busyness into blessedness, yet there is failure every day.

It is the failure that is most exhausting.

By the end of the week, thoughts return to quiet stillness - when? When is the last time these fingers flipped pages to find strength, when these hands and feet were still, when this mind slowed long enough to allow the soul to be refilled, refreshed?

Reaching for the book on my table, I read, "If Satan can keep my eyes from the Word, my eyesight is too poor to read light - to fill with light."

The words follow His words, "Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!" Matthew 6:22-23

"It's just that the eyes are bad - my perspective."

Hard lessons to learn. Necessary lessons. The wondering about missing the blessings is a reflection of my perspective, and my eyesight has been poor these past couple of weeks - a fact that becomes more and more obvious as each day in this home becomes less and less encouraging. A preventable problem, one that can easily be remedied by my choosing.

"Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." Matthew 6:32-33

A long-time favorite promise...He WILL give me what I need WHEN I choose daily to live for Him. The choice is mine.

266. Preschoolers who beg for (and sing along with) Toby Mac - "Shake it, don't break it, took your Momma 9 months to make it!"

267. A night of blessed and encouraging conversation.

268. Safety during unsettling bathroom breaks at unknown gas stations.

269. Early morning text messages that always bring smiles.

270. Special events that honor and recognize the beauty and blessings in every MOPS Mom.

271. Chinese food...mmm...

272. Weather-delayed ball games that make room for fun family outings.

273. 30% off at Kohl's (+ Kohl's cash to boot!)

274. Extra sleep for weary parents.

275. Excitement in plans and preparations for the first annual family vacation.